Vintage typewriter on desk

John Irving’s novel, The World According to Garp, is about a writer. As such, it contains and reflects the reality of writing for a living.

1. ‘Real’ writers have intent

There are few interests that our era doesn’t try to sell back to us as an education. There are online courses and evening classes and certificates in just about anything, from writing and photography to coding and languages – and if that works for you, great. But with writing, it’s not the only way.

Garp goes so far as to declare “whoever heard of going to college to be the best at writing?” That doesn’t mean he just sits back and waits for the words to fall onto paper by themselves – he works at it, writing one short story every month (some of which we’re told aren’t that good).

Garp’s driven to write because – he claims – it’s his way of winning a girl’s heart. But underneath that, Garp experiences the world very much as a writer. He tells stories to soothe himself, even when he’s supposedly telling his kids a bedtime story.

Later, he pens one violent, vulgar novel as a way of exorcising the terrible things that happen to him and his family. Things happen, and writers write about it, and that really is all you need to do to call yourself a writer.

2. The writer’s job is to notice

“writers, Garp sadly knew, were just observers – good and ruthless imitators of human behavior.”

The world according to garp

As a young man, Garp decides to move to Vienna and ‘be a writer’, but then his mother decides she’s going with him. As if that weren’t galling enough, it’s Jenny who bashes out her autobiography at warp speed, while Garp doesn’t seem to do much writing at all.

Instead he spends his time wandering around Vienna, visiting museums and prostitutes – yet it’s by spying on the city like this that Garp finally discovers his story and its characters. The result is a short story, The Pension Grillparzer (which itself contains a short story).

The writer’s job, Garp concludes, is to look at and learn about the world, and then imagine all the things which might happen in it – however bizarre they might be.

3. Revenge is a dish best served cold

Being a published writer means sending your work to agents and publishers and, invariably, being rejected. When Garp submits The Pension Grillparzer, one magazine responds:

“The story is only mildly interesting, and it does nothing new with language or with form. Thanks for showing it to us, though.”

Ouch.

Fifteen years later Garp publishes his third novel, and the same editor writes a very flattering letter inviting Garp to send over any new writing for consideration. Garp’s reply?

“I am only mildly interested in your magazine, and I am still doing nothing new with language or with form. Thanks for asking, though.”

In the real world, it’s rarely worth burning writing bridges like this – yet it’s gratifying to imagine just how you might do it if the opportunity ever comes your way….

In the meantime, published writers by definition must submit their work – even if it means facing rejection (and finding ways to deal with it).

4. Writing books isn’t the same as selling books

Writing takes talent and effort in roughly equal measure. Selling books also takes talent and effort – yet commercial and creative endeavours are usually quite distinct, at least when it comes to writing. For Garp, what bridges the two worlds is a brilliant editor.

That isn’t to say that John Wolf, Garp’s editor, is uncritically supportive. He takes one look at Garp’s novel, The World According to Bensenhaver, and exclaims, “How can there be any more of this? There is entirely too much of it as it stands!”

John Wolf is finally able to translate Garp’s demands for the book into a publishing success story. He knows his markets and – more importantly – he understands what readers want.

Some self-published writers can steer both jobs … but the majority can’t. Get an editor, or someone who knows how the business of books really works. If you can’t get an editor, find readers, or trusted, credible folk who can give you the awful, unvarnished truth about your work.

It’s John Wolf who also reveals another literary truism: readers read “To find out what happens”, not because they believe in ‘art’ or literary bells and whistles. Many writers dream of transforming language like James Joyce – but to sell books, commercially sensitive feedback is key.


John Irving, The World According to Garp. Black Swan (2010)

Picture credit: Patrick Fore